Gleaming the Cube

by Mike

Most people who have actual offices can sit at the desk, face the door and mentally qualify visitors as friend or annoyance as they arrive (or intrude) – and act accordingly. We cubed are not so fortunate.  Doorless, and with our backs turned, we are at the mercy and whim of the co-worker pop-in.

Here are the ways I have been “popped-in upon”: 

1.     The soft knock.  This barely audible, light tap on the cube edge is favored by the diffident and extremely polite. These people typically understand that you are busy. They stand not assumedly, but in serendipitous anticipation at the imaginary cube door until invited in, almost as if to say: “I can’t believe I’m standing here, but since I have your attention…”

2.     Those who start talking before they are in sight (and barely in earshot). These people know timing. They can yell “Hey, Mike!” from a distance and conclude with their demands as they arrive in your cube. I find that the best way to handle this crassness is, when you sense the person coming, pick up the phone and act like you are on an important call. Most will do an about face and leave (rather than suffer your distracted, slightly-annoyed, “I’m-on-the-phone” wave); others, however, will wait, forcing you to feign an entire phone conversation.  Which leads me to…

3.     Just stand there. Yes, there are co-workers who have come a long way to see you – some from as far away as the floor above.  They endured an exhausting elevator ride to be here and they will not be deterred. But they won’t speak up either. It is customary in this approach to enter your cube as quietly as a church mouse after a Saturday night bender and simply stand and stare at the back of your head. This is favored by the non-assertive, for they rely on that sixth-sense, that innate ability we all have to know when we are being watched, and not on making their presence known themselves. 

I am uncertain as to which of these is preferable because each one is met by me with the same expression of confused, abstracted, disappointment… WAIT!!!!  I just returned from visiting a co-worker’s cube. She was wearing ear buds and jamming silently, I am guessing, to……. nothing.  Brilliant - she avoided my pop-in, despite my trying ALL THREE of the above! Absolutely brilliant!